#have you tried shutting the fuck up
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Ended up writing an essay I won't post right now but every individual has the right not to ship something. Perpetuating homophobia and defending homophobic and transphobic people isn't okay. None of my business if you don't ship satosugu. Defending homophobia and being transphobic because you don't like a ship isn't okay and I will block you
#jujutsu kaisen#i blocked the people who made me upset about this#thisnisnt about any mutuals#certain user expressing that stsg shippers deserve homophobic abuse is knsane to me#you dont have to fucking ship them why be homophobic about it#have you tried shutting the fuck up#the queer coding is obvious whether or not it becomes canon#people call it a fujoshi thing when in reality its gay shipper s and the fujoshis are shipping horribly unethical ships in the series#source: i have 7k+ jjk accounts blocked on twitter i think i know what the freaks are like#gay trans mascs liking a gay ship always equals fujoshi to cissies#writing a whole other essay in the tags i gotta shut the fuck up#probably delete later#i am vaguing someone specifically but since j have them blockeed now im praying they don't see this in any way
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Again source of inspiration and joy is "Managerial Liberties" on AO3 (i reeeally don't like the coloured version of this at ALL so i had to do it) [but truth be told, i just want @miribalis to break into my house]
#i love it when i complain about my art and people comment with 'yeah but have you tried to shut the fuck up?'#please feel hugged kissed or whatever you prefer#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#radioapple#appleradio#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#lucifer morningstar#alastor the radio demon#managerial liberties#my art
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genuinely would love for some of the "both parties are the same" people to name me a single election in the entirety of the twenty first century where the outcome for the country wouldn't have been better if a democrat had won
#personal#like come on we all know shit would have been amazingly better if the supreme court hadn't couped al gore#kerry would have also been infinitely better than bush too#i'm very glad we got two years of obama rather than a mccain presidency or a romney presidency#and honestly if you think hillary would have been worse than trump or that biden has been worse than trump#or that kamala will somehow be worse than trump 2.0 as he attempts to install himself as fascist dictator for life#you're not a serious person and shouldn't be allowed outside without an adult and also should probably get smacked in the head#with a cast iron pan#every american presidential election for my entire life has very obviously been 'the democrat is infinitely better than the republican'#and has only gotten moreso as i've grown up#hell every election in general is still showing that dems are better than republicans#democrats control the house? they get stuff down#republicans control the house? they go to recess early and are legit gearing up to shut down the government in october#(of an ELECTION YEAR god please let republicans singlehandedly shut down the government a month before election day)#(as a republican tries to take back the white house please god it would be so fucking funny to watch them deal with that)#but like yeah literally vote blue no matter who because i've been alive for twenty five whole years#and in those twenty five years never once has the republican been remotely the better option or even the 'lesser of two evils' option
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hater alert! far too many people say that juri’s character arc ‘isn’t about her being sad about being gay, it’s about being sad about unrequited love that happens to be gay’ and. well. that is not true and by saying that you are completely flattening the brilliance of juri’s character arc which literally culminates in her being able to accept her own lesbianism despite her unrequited love, despite all her shame and self-loathing, despite this pursuit by Some Fucking Guy to try and ‘save’ her from these feelings. like if you think juri’s entire character is just ‘sad about shiori’ how do you appreciate even a modicum of the emotion packed into that final juri duel. it is both about shiori and, even broader, her lesbian identity and what that means to her intrinsically as a person, removed from romantic relationships and just purely as like. you know. Who She Is. the idea that even when juri’s locket is cut from her neck she is still a lesbian that’s still who she is and she cant change that and, crucially, she doesn’t want to even as she is agonised by these feelings. that’s why she forfeits the duel!!!! she’s clocking out she’s quitting she’s saying no!!!!!! this is me and ive got to be ok with that this is me and i can accept that this girl might not love me and i can keep living despite that. like. god im so normal arisugawa juri im so sorry that no one understands you and your intrinsically unapologetically lesbian storyline like i do
#ok got that out of my system now (rewatched ep 29 duel too many times)#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#idk i just see that argument so much and it makes me so sad#bc i get where ppl r coming from there r a lot of unnuanced ‘sad bc gay’ narratives out there#but juri’s whole arc is about actively challenging and deconstructing that idea#and it deals with the sadness that comes with being closeted with knowing youre gay and not really liking that about yourself#and eventually she does accept and embrace that aspect of herself but CRUCIALLY she doesnt do it via romantic validation#in fact she does it in the face of like. All Opposition Ever#no one says hey juri if you were gay that’d be totally fine actually haha#ruka tries to save her from her lesbianism!!!!!!!! like!!!!!!!#it is juri and juri alone who makes this resolution and that is just So Fucking Important to me#shes so. she is the queer character of all time to me i literally dont care no one else will ever come close#LIKE!!!!!!! THE CASTLE WEEPING ON HER WHEN SHE MAKES HER CHOICE!!!!!!!#accepting that part of yourself and having the symbol of matrimony and heteronormativity WEEP over you#no one ever validates juri’s choice to accept her queerness but she keeps making that choice#and her in episode 37…….. god i just might keel over and die girls when juri utena touga parallels……#anywayyyyyyy love and light i love juriposting#shut up daisy
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Kinktober 10 - Sensory Deprivation
PriceGhost
CW: Blindfolding, headphones used to cancel sound, dub-con elements, oral sex, wildly expensive alcohol (like, seriously, holy fuck)
Price doesn’t indulge in this odd relaxation ritual often, but sometimes he needs it. This week has been long enough that he might need it as much as Simon, at this point. His lieutenant is of the same opinion, apparently, because when Price strides into the den, the noise canceling headphones and sleeping mask are already on the coffee table. He grunts as he eases his aching body down onto the worn leather couch.
Simon comes stalking in, already changed into his sweat pants and a tee shirt. He places the McCallan on the coffee table with a solid thunk, then stares.
When he doesn’t say anything, Price scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m not that bad.”
Simon’s left eyebrow goes up, but his face stays blank.
“Yes, yes,” Price chuckles, placing the headphones around his neck. He settles the mask in place as he add, “I’ve been a right cunt.”
“Y’re always a right cunt,” Simon grumbles.
Price snorts a laugh as he lifts the headphones to his ears. As soon as he turns them on they connect to Simon’s phone and grey noise blocks out the world.
For an indeterminate amount of time, that’s all there is. Darkness and soft static. With the absence of other input, his brain catalogues every ache and pain in his back, his legs, his arms. It takes longer than usual to settle into square breaths.
The first touch of Simon's hand makes Price flinch, hard. He imagines he can feel his lieutenant's judgmental stare before he reminds himself that the whole point is to stop imagining. He takes two deep breaths and tips his head back into the couch.
The tips of Simon's fingers touch the palm of his hand again before being replaced with cold crystal. Price adjusts his grip, then lifts the glass to take in the bouquet of the scotch. It’s one of his favorites, ginger and cinnamon and vanilla notes coaxing the tension from his shoulders. The first taste is heaven, rich and smooth, lingering ginger and apricot as he settles in.
Simon waits until he's set the glass back against his thigh before picking up his other hand. He expects a cigar, but instead, he gets the deep pressure of knuckles in his palm.
He doesn't bother muffling the groan that flows from him as Simon proceeds to massage his writing hand, wrist, forearm as he keeps sipping his whiskey. When he switches hands, he almost drops the whiskey glass, his hand is so relaxed. The world narrows down to white noise, scotch, and muscles forced to unwind.
Then, Simon does something unexpected.
Price spreads his thighs when prompted. Then he feels more than hears himself make a questioning noise when a big body pushes its way between his knees.
For a long moment they just breathe. Then Simon taps his empty palm twice with his fingers. Solid?
Price taps back. Solid.
Large hands land on his knees and smooth their way up his quads. They don't hesitate to lift his shirt out of the way and make quick work of his belt. Another beat of stillness. Price brings the scotch back up to his lips.
Simon's hands are warm as they touch his belly, petting over course hair and feeling over muscle and fat. It's a curious sensation. He's not sure Simon's ever touched him so gently, even with this odd routine they've built together.
It's a shock and it isn't when those same hands coax him to lift his hips enough to shove his pants and trousers down his thighs. And then Simon’s palming his soft cock, not touching to stimulate, but Price feels the awareness of-
He hears himself moan over the noise when Simon’s mouth closes over him, hot and wet. He barely resists the urge to grip the man’s short hair in a fist, stars dancing behind his eyelids. Instead, he tries to focus on not spilling scotch all over them both.
It’s a testament to the stress they’ve been under that Price doesn’t get hard. After a brief flash of frustration, he sighs, deep and long. After a moment, the tension seeps out of his neck, and tipping his chin toward the ceiling.
Simon taps his thigh. Solid?
Price huffs a laugh. Solid.
#kinktober 2024#dragonnarrativewrites fanfiction#kink fics#priceghost#manic pixie dream ghost#price is right#i love these weirdos together#the only way to get price to sit down and shut the fuck up#“simon couldn't you have tried anything else?”#no#next question lmao
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if I had a nickel for every time I was in a fandom and a child character had a breakdown and did something that accidentally hurt another character, and then the fandom all turned on the character and vilified them because they [the fandom] can’t understand that sometimes 14 year olds make mistakes when they’re going through something traumatic, I would have 2 nickels
not a lot but it really is weird it happened twice
#This is targeted at anyone who vilifies Gon from hxh or Homura from pmmm#”Gon was manipulative towards Killua and took advantage of him” shut up shut the fuck up#”Homura never actually cared about any of the other girls she only cared about Madoka” never touch the internet ever again you absolute idi#I’m sorry that some of you incells can’t understand moral complexity or that characters can’t always be 100% good all the time#they were kids#they were only 14#At the same time saying stuff like this is actively undermining both Gon and Homuras characters but also Killua and Madokas as well#Killua and Gons friendship was kinda toxic from the beginning. They were each others first ever friends#and they didn’t really know how to have any#Gon was literally having a mental breakdown confronting the person who killed the closest thing he had ever had to a father#can you really blame him for lashing out???#And Homura#don’t get me started on the amount of idiots in the pmmm fandom who think she’s evil because he did what she thought was best for Madoka#she heard Madoka say she was unhappy being a god and how lonely she was and she took action#if she didn’t care about the other girls then WHY DID THE CLARA DOLLA DRAG THEM INTO HER LABYRINTH???#WHY DID SHE MAKE SURE THEY WERE ALL HAPPY WHEN SHE REWROTE THE UNIVERSE??#she tried for years to save Madoka just to fail when she made her final wish to become a god#imagine how she felt when she realized she wasn’t happy with that outcome either#when she realized she was all alone#she just wanted for her to be happy.#i swear to god#if you think either Gon or Homura are evil you might as well just block me now#because I fully believe you should not be allowed internet access#rant#rant post#pmmm#madoka magica#homura akemi#puella magi madoka magica#madoka kamane
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I want you to know that before you I didn’t even consider Cass/Tim/Jay before and now I can’t stop thinking about them. They could have such a fucked up dynamic or such a deep bond and I need them so bad my teeth hurt. Also, pretty.
i'm HAPPY to spread the propaganda for any ship involving Cass-
it's such a *fascinating* dynamic bc we don't have a ton of canon for what a relationship between Cass and Jason would look like. and i think the fanon take of "oh Cass would hate Jason for being pro-murder" isn't necessarily true. bc while yes, the morality will always be a sticking point for these two, Cass is about Drive. she is of everyone, the most wholly dedicated to the Mission outside of Bruce. and Jason is *also* about drive. the two of them have it in common, how absolutely focused they get on their concepts of what justice should look like. and if nothing else, i think they could respect each other. i think a well written Jason *should* respect Cass and have respect for how she was raised and how she's grown past it. she's done the one thing that he struggles to do: moved on from her tragic backstory and started to look forward.
and of course, they both have nuanced relationships with Tim. Tim and Cass love each other so deeply, and Jason is already weirdly obsessed with Tim. i think it's within the realm of possibility (if DC didn't write her out of comics for so long lmao) for Jason to extend that weird obsession to Cass. in the same way he respects Tim, he would respect Cass. respect both what she is and what should *could* be, similar to Tim. i like the idea of the three of them together in a very fucked up way- though like you said it could also be a healthier, deeper devotion. but something about how Jason would crave to sink his teeth into either or both of them is so good.
especially if they're already together, it'd drive Jason up a wall. i think it's fun if he tries to make them jealous by paying attention. tries to make Cass jealous by showing a lot of attention to Tim and getting up in his business, *knowing* that Cass is a protective partner. or vice versa trying to make Tim jealous with comments like "what? worried about someone else around your girl?". they know what he's doing, and they're pissed that it's *working*. i think Cass deserves to be sickly fascinated with someone like Jason, obsessed with the soft side of him that she *knows* exists and wanting to try to save him, while also being drawn into his intensity. so Cass wants to save Jason, Jason wants to corrupt Cass, and Tim is stuck in the middle with feelings for both of them unsure if he can stop them from killing each other or fucking. tbh he wants to be there for both.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#jaytim#timcass#jaycass#jaytimcass#casstim#dead dove do not eat#they could be so good#“cass would hate jason” boring.#“cass would hate jason's actions but be drawn into him as a person” bespoke. ty for coming to my tedtalk#cass sees someone like jason and wants to save him not demean him.#and jason is someone who despises being seen as a victim who needs saving. it makes for a delightful balance.#and they both want to fuck tim nasty.#tbh instead of hatefucking each other they should just. hatefuck tim at the same time while glaring at each other#using him as a stresstoy while he tries to pacify their respective angers#and he gets shut up by having someone push somehting in his mouth so they can keep arguing bc this isn't about you tim.#... wait. now that's a fic idea.#add that to the list-#i'm writing that.#dehumanization kink is always so good.
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i found the bill and ted cartoon im watching it now,,,,, this sucks so bad i love it deeply
#bills so fucking ugly oh my god#im glad roku works...... i tried pluto but it didnt work 💔#jello shut up challenge#bill... i just have one question for you.... what color is an orange#ted you bonehead its color is the same as its name!! just like a lemon c:
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When they get to Egghead Sanji complains about the Hawaiian shirt, saying it's too boring in comparison with the other outfits. Then Usopp looks at him with a thumbs up and says "Looking good!! It's very you <3 Do you think that we could keep these things after this is over because I pers-" but Sanji isn't hearing shit anymore because he's having a moment™ and he feels hot all over and maybe he's going to faint, who knows.
#when a pretty boy says you look good so you have a gay crisis#zoro looks at him and smirks and says 'you alright?' knowing obviously what's going on#and sanji goes all 'SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM FINE' on him but now every time he looks at usopp he's dying#he tries to like. be in front of him to show off#now that shirt is suddenly his favorite thing#as it should be because he looks extremely pretty with that#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#egghead
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one of these days i need the full story of your dnd mishap
😭😭😭 please
the short story is our party had three people (2 players + DM) who thought we were playing a fun friendly magical campaign and two people who wanted to recreate a critical role campaign amongst themselves...i think if youre familiar w cr you might immediately see the issue there.
long story is people put WAY way too much personal shit into their characters and almost immediately started taking the actions of characters as genuine irl slights and like. two sessions in had already lost sight of the difference between the pc and the player.
oh shit this got really long im sorry i dont think you care This much but i havent thought about it in a while and it bewilders me every time-
SO i was playing a cunty rogue and had TOLD everyone 'hey she is probably gonna clash w the party at first, but she'll warm up to everyone really fast, so dont worry about that' like it was clearly in the spirit of building a realistic character who had her own hangups etc. which i assumed the others would understand bc they'd done the same. plus is it not boring and unreal asf if a bunch of strangers meet after a murder of someone close to them and all just get along immediately w no suspicions or secrecy? cmon man.
and yet. the two cr-people got really weird about my pirate character stealing (???) and sincerely pulled the dm aside to express their concerns about the 'level of violence being enacted' and asked that we all try to be aware of what class of people we did crimes against. like. they wanted me to stop stealing from the 99% and ask everyone if they were rich before i picked their pocket ig. ALL THE WHILE. ONE OF THE OFFENDING PCS WAS IN THE MAFIA?????? LIKE. DIRECTLY EMBEDDED IN THE MAFIA THAT RAN THE TOWN.
i suppose that pc was off the hook bc he did possess the elf cock that the other guy wanted so bad, so. love won. i guess.
anyway they ended up taking hours out of our sessions to just dialogue-rp about slowly falling in love in a complex way or something. except then the non-elf player was like 'actually, dm, can you give me a love interest npc i need to add more depth to my character.' or smth, to which our dm lovingly crafted a beautiful working class hero of a guy. which the pc proceeded to hard reject. what was the point of any of this? we may never know<3
need to be clear as well this was all happening over discord bc we all live in different timezones, my very close friend was up at 2AM for this bullshit every week. AND he didnt even KNOW these other people very well, but suddenly theyre finding fault w not just his character but him as a PERSON? i just rmrd they accused him of like.....negatively influencing me??? like. MORALLY???? brother we have been friends for 10 years you are nothing to us you dont know us like that lol.
but they did REALLY really hate my character, which eventually made me feel like shit all the time bc like. obviously im putting work into her, its a creative construction and to have it railed against that badly is not fun. so i said ok you know what, ill just make a new character, hopefully thatll keep the peace and we can salvage this.
so i pitch a new character and oh they LOVE her. they fucking love her concept. which was so.........the first character was a lot easier for me to play bc she was a little more like me, and this character was specifically the opposite....how am i meant to take that reaction, yknow
which also reminds me: the original pirate rogue i played was a tiefling (yeah yeah gay stereotype i know. im not subtle or original, whatever) and there was a complaint (made only half-jokingly, ykwim) that she was too white.
shes not even HUMAN what the fuck do you mean shes too WHITE. IM not white that should imbue any character i create w an inherent not-whiteness. but even still, again, she is half sea creature. shes not. human. to be assigned a race like that....hello??
anyway so these two cr-rp players eventually blocked me and my friend on tumblr without saying anything, and got confused when we found out and said 'yeah ok we dont wanna play dnd with some guy who has blocked us on other social media' as if WE were the weirdos. like they saw no problem w continuing this disastrous campaign as long as they got their mandatory monologue time.
the worst part is my dm made SUCH a stunning campaign and world and it was so so so fun outside of this mess, i still feel really bad they never got to realise the world fully. plus my character had a sickass backstory thing where she was like. slowly unlocking latent magic the longer she spent underwater bc her demon parent was abyssal and stuff. which is whatever but the sick part is she was developing SCALES and maybe GILLS. in like a nasty gorey way it was gonna be so cool. but noooo lets talk about strange morality and your lameass god for 1.5 hrs. at 11pm on a friday.
#ask#anonymous#sorry i will just never be over this#im a super evolved mellow person now but i will never ever ever forgive or forget this shit#im not even covering half of it i dont think and i def dont think this is coherent#but its fun to rant like a lunatic sometimes#anyway nyx you will always be famous baby!! they could never make me hate you!!! wild magic sorcerer cuntress<3#also to be so fair. i came into it w a bit of a bias against one of the pcs bc i hate warlocks fredhjcnkdsc#UNLESS youre doing smth funny w them idgaf about a warlock boo hoo you had to buy your magic. loser#but whatever it was a fucking mess. and i was still a people pleaser back then so i really tried hard to make my pc fit and be liked#which was lame in hindsight she should have torn them apart gfhdvjncx#edit: oh and the dmpc lay down after a meal at a campfire while we were travelling and i as an annoying ass player said#'dm your npc is going to get reflux if she lies down right after a meal' and my dm said 'can you shut up for 5 seconds ever?' and i said#'ok but if she is too sick to fight later dont blame me!' and the dm rolled for reflux#guess what happened to the npc.
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making a collection
making another collection with a threatening aura
#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo#HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn.#luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!!#what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there#FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :(#one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend#usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase#nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls#i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki#luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg#cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy#zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over#zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn#komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom#luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk#it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also#was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up???#'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!'#flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe#zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her#that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme#fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems#foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests#now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby#the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs
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.
#kinda wanna strangle all of the anti-voting ppl who are smugly posting about how our votes didn't matter or we were stupid to try#at least i can fucking go to sleep at night knowing that i did everything i could for that channel of impact#i voted and i encouraged people i know to vote. do you know what else i do?#i go out to rip down nationalist propaganda and attend anarchist events and protests in my area and volunteer at the food bank#everyone who tries to tell you it's an either/or thing is just fucking wrong. try a different excuse.#ugh. just shut the fuck up. none of us have brought the revolution yet. you included. at least i tried one more thing than you did asshole.#delete later
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for people whose job is dealing with mentally ill people therapists sure get very uncomfortable when you cry or express any negative thoughts or feelings or are suicidal or suggest you may have a mental illness
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I literally didn't say they weren't issues he also had 💛 All my meta posts are dramatic in how I write them 💛 I'm sorry I didn't word everything incredibly carefully 💛 Totally my bad guys 💛
#i dont have a tag for this im just exploding all of you with my brain#youre all so dumb PLS#im sorry i tried to be silly and whimsical#am i gonna make another post to show why and how its the main issue and how his number moves in comparison?#maybe#i know tumblr is illiterate and its the whole “piss on the poor” but jesus christ#if you dont have nice things to say just shut the fuck up actually 💛#vent#<-just in case sorry bestiesss you know who you are
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I will never forgive a single one of you
#There will come a day when your grandchildren see your faces in the history books and spit on you#“We survived the last one” no we all didn't#I lost so many#so many#His policy changes almost got me killed twice alone#I mean that literally -- in the hospital trying not to die because of the shit he did#Later today I am going to have to face a room full of [redacted] and promise to do everything I can to protect them and not give up#all while pretending I'm not already sitting in my grave#Of course I'm going to fight of course I am but Christ alive fuck you people who think this is a game#and honestly fuck everyone who looked at what happened and didn't see massive voter suppression for what it was#“why didn't so-and-so shift blue” because they challenge mail-in ballots and purge the rolls late and shut down polling locations#and if they call you a “felon” you can't vote. And guess what sort of people they like to make felons?#Reminding myself through gritted teeth that if almost half of Texas voted blue - that's a higher population than some blue states have#It's a lot of people. It's so many people. So many many people tried#People out there care and are trying don't forget them don't abandon them don't condemn them in the hatred#Welp.#If you're still reading this I'm so sorry#If you're USAmerican remember: if they come knocking on your door asking for the neighbor in your attic - you don't know shit#You have never seen a shoplifter in your life. You never had nor never knew anyone who got an abortion.#You don't know any queer people. Especially not a trans person. Especially especially not a trans kid.#Social media sites are not safe for communication. It's not a game okay. Get real good at being careful#Buy an air cleaner and a water filter and get ready to keep an eye on food contamination outbreaks#Get to know your local farmers#Buy a chicken. Name it Reggie. Reggie gonna give you eggs.#Living is an act of defiance. Fighting is an act of love
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I’m about to vomit out a bunch of thoughts, and I’m not sure any of this is going to make sense by the end, but. I’ve been thinking a LOT about these three lines in RE4make:
“You haven’t changed. You just think you have.”
“You can’t save her. You can’t save anyone.”
“This time, it has to be different...”
I’ve seen people focus in on that Krauser line and tie it directly back to Sherry, which is cool! Even as recently as five years ago, people completely glossed over Sherry’s impact on Leon’s life, and it’s cool that the remakes have had people digging into his character and realizing “oh shit, literally everything that happens to him after RE2 is because of his paternal love for Sherry.”
But... Krauser’s line is about more than just her.
With the remake turning Krauser into Leon’s combat trainer, chances are he knows about everything that happened in Raccoon City. And I don’t mean, like. He read a government file. Leon probably told him.
In OG, Krauser and Leon have this exchange of dialogue:
Krauser: “What is it that you fight for, comrade?” Leon: “My past, I suppose.” Krauser: “Hmph. Umbrella.”
It was axed completely from the remake, because it doesn’t make sense for it to happen in the remake. If Krauser was Leon’s trainer, that question was probably asked very early in their relationship. And since they weren’t currently in a fight to the death, and because they weren’t already six years removed from Raccoon City, chances are, Leon’s answer was a bit more involved than just “my past.”
So, let’s back up a little bit. In RE2make, they basically turned Kendo into a completely different character. OG Kendo was literally just there to point a shotgun at Leon and/or Claire and then go “oh my bad you’re not a zombie” and hook them up with some guns before he gets eaten. In RE2make, he’s a desperate and terrified father just trying to spend his last few moments with his infected 6 or 7 year old daughter before she turns. After he shuts the door on Leon and Ada, Leon turns to Ada and says, “Protecting people like that is why I joined the force.”
But Leon doesn’t protect or save Kendo or his daughter. He doesn’t protect or save... anyone. Every single person that Leon comes into contact with and tries to save dies horrifically -- and some, he even has to kill, himself (Marvin Branaugh). The only people who make it out of Raccoon City alive are people who saved themselves (Claire and Ada).
Of course, there is Sherry. But Leon didn’t save Sherry; Claire did. ESPECIALLY in remake canon, since nearly all of Leon’s scenes with Sherry got severely shortened or removed completely in RE2make.
But then, when Claire entrusts Sherry to Leon’s care (on his own insistence, per her RE3 epilogue), he goes and fucks that up, too. Gets her kidnapped and held hostage indefinitely by the federal government, and the only thing he can do about it is do exactly as they say and just hope they keep their end of the bargain and not hurt her.
So, when Krauser says “You can’t save anyone,” he means anyone. Ever. And even up to that point in RE4... Leon got the two officers who drove him into town killed, and he watched Luis die a slow, agonizing death right in front of him. And then, past that point, Leon has to kill Krauser with his own hands. Then he watches Mike die.
Ashley is literally Leon’s first and only success story, up to this point in canon. (And even when you go all the way up to current-day canon, Ashley is one of... three? People? I can think of? Total? Who Leon actually saves?)
So, Leon saying, “This time, it has to be different,” he doesn’t just mean Sherry. He means Ada. He means Kendo. He means Marvin. He means the entirety of Raccoon City. He’s staring down a repeat of what happened back then, not in terms of the bioterror situation, but in terms of his own personal failures. His survivor’s guilt. He can’t handle the thought that he’ll be the only person to walk away again -- and he refuses to be.
And that’s why Ada’s line bothers me so fucking much.
I mean, first of all -- Ada, you haven’t seen this man in six years, and you’ve spent a total of like five minutes with him since meeting up with him again here, so how the fuck would you even know -- but even aside from that...
To be clear: she’s right.
But she’s also wrong.
Leon has changed -- to an extent. In RE2 (OG or remake), Leon honestly believed that if it was lawful, then it was also morally right. He doesn’t believe that anymore. There’s no more “letting the law sort it out” or trusting in the power of authority for him anymore. His moral compass has been boiled down to: “If you hurt or murder innocent people, you’re a fucking asshole, and I don’t really care who you are, I’ll kill you myself.”
RE2 Leon was willing to hear people out and give them an honest benefit of the doubt -- even Annette Birkin. RE4 Leon just tells people to shut the fuck up before opening fire.
RE2 Leon was honest and trusting to a fault, and he felt stronger as part of a team. RE4 Leon is suspicious almost to the point of paranoia, and he just wants to be left the fuck alone to do his job.
These are all things that were really important to who Leon was in Raccoon City, and they’re reasons why things turned out the way they did for him, back then.
But at the same time, Ada’s right in saying that, at the core of it all, Leon is still that kind-hearted, decent guy who just wants the good guys to win and the bad guys to lose. That’s why it hits him somewhere sensitive when Krauser says: “You can’t save anyone.”
It’s just that, now, the way he approaches it is different. His outlook on life in terms of his goals is different. His expectations for it have changed.
So, if Leon had been smarter/wittier, he absolutely could have turned it around on her and said: “No, I’ve definitely changed. You just think I haven’t.”
And not only would that sound threatening as fuck, he’d also be right. They both would be, at that point.
And for all of those major parts of him to have changed and still be facing down the possibility of failing every single person he comes across, especially Ashley...
"This time, it has to be different.”
And this time, it was.
#resident evil 4#leon kennedy#meta analysis#and it WOULDN'T have been different if leon hadn't changed#could you imagine how RE4 would've ended if leon was still his RE2 self and tried to apprehend krauser instead of killing him#or like give him a second chance#like 'i beat you now you can repent'#fucking LUL#that's how you fucking die comrade#unfortunately leon succeeding in RE4 also taught him to emotionally close himself off and push everyone away#classical conditioning and all that#but that's a separate post for a separate time#if they ever remake RE6 watch me clown honk my way through leon and sherry's fucked up relationship#claire goes to see sherry regularly and leon admits out loud he hasn't even spoken to her in at least 3 years#and then chokes up with tears when he finally sees her again#smfh he's so fucking stupid#leon if you can't cope with your trauma properly then just shut up and keep drinking god i can't stand you#one day i'll also write a big post about leon's suicidal ideation#today is not that day#but one day
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